September 20, 2020

Untitled photo

So a curious thing happened this morning. I grabbed my warm flannel shirt, you know the one I NEVER put in the wash because I wear it to check out the sunrise every morning, and this spring peeper fell out of it. Now I'm not one to fuel conspiracy theories, but I googled "why is there a spring peeper in my shirt" and I'm telling you there are dark forces at work here. Apparently certain species of amphibians are being kidnapped and stashed in human clothing. This is being orchestrated by the same deep state forces that turn my shirt inside out each night while I am sleeping, often leaving one arm right side out making me turn each arm in and out several times before getting it right. There was a link at this point directing me to an in-depth expose done by a reputable cable news outfit regarding a plot that erases the label on the inside of t-shirts which causes us to put them on backwards time and time again, and then another link about socks cannibalizing socks (can you imagine?), and then another link about blueberries that we drop on the kitchen floor vanishing without so much as a trace and, well, all I can say is I'm glad I found the answer at least to my spring peeper question and that it had nothing to do with the fact I never wash that shirt!